Buddy

2008 - 4/15/21

I’ve dreaded the day I’d have to write this since April 25, 2009, when Buddy and I found each other at a shelter in Chicago. Buddy passed away April 15th, after a nearly two-year long battle with cancer, with Morgan (his mom) and I by his side until the very end. The choice to end Buddy’s suffering was the most difficult of my life, and I still doubt whether or not he was suffering ”enough” to justify this. We didn’t want him in pain, and a recent diagnosis of kennel cough turned into bronchitis made it difficult for him to breath. The cancer was putting fluid in his lungs, and the doctors thought it would be a matter of days, perhaps a week, before there was too much liquid to breath.

I played “The Gift” by Jim Brickman, and Morgan and I held his paws and put our faces in his face and smothered him with kisses until he slipped away.
Buddy was the first dog I adopted as an adult and will always hold the most special place in my heart. He was truly my best friend, and our hearts are shattered now that he’s gone. I’ve never felt pain this deep before. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same; a piece of me died with Buddy. I’ve never looked at Buddy as a dog – he’s always been a son to me, and we shared a connection I’ve never had with another human or animal.

I’m the luckiest person alive to have found him curled up in that Chicago kennel the day after a long drive up from an overcrowded shelter in Tennessee. I will forever miss him more than words can express. I love you with every cell in my body, Buddy.